Czech Republic The Czech People: How I Didn’t Get Mugged & The Many Sides of A Czech
I really do love this city. And for the most part, I love the people that inhabit it. There isn’t much diversity here — save a few vietnamese store owners and the pockets of tourists — but the Czech people are diverse on their own. Many are, like we’d been warned, quite reserved; notably, those using public transit sit neatly and raise eyebrows at small, informal conversation or sniffling of the nose. They’d never make a scene on the metro.
My assumption was that the Czechs would dislike Americans. I figured they would be bothered by groups of American teenagers taking over their pubs, drinking their beer and spoiling their quiet tram ride to work. But it’s really the opposite: they love Americans! They play our music in clubs, watch our movies with subtitles, (fail to) cook our food in trendy restaurants, laugh at (my) jokes and often reprint menus, signs, receipts and flyers in English. And when things aren’t spelled out in English, they play charades until it’s obvious. Try saying děkuji (thank you) or dobrý den (good day) and they’ll get all giddy at your attempt to speak Czech.
They can also be a little aggressive. I was headed down an escalator in the shady metro the other night when a burly gentleman in what I believed was a gang pointed to me and made the Uncle Sam “YOU!” gesture at me. I panicked. We’ve heard again and again that the Czechs are nasty pickpockets and occasional muggers, so I assumed the worst. I turned around, motioning for help from the group I was with, but it was too late; the escalator ride was ending. I tried walking around the man but he cut me off, then snapped some Czech at a few members of his gang, narrowed his eyes, and pulled a coin out of his pocket as if to say, “Your coins are mine.” I gulped. And then I heard him say the word “ticket.” Like, train ticket. Ticket to ride. The metro. You see, the Czech transit system is based on an honor system, much like those supermarket guns where you pay for your own items; I was being audited for a ticket. I apologized and showed him my pass. He laughed and said not to worry.
There is one place, however, where Czechs let their guard down: the club. I suppose they withhold so much emotion during the day that the minute they enter a noční podnik, they let their guard down and burst. Suddenly they’re silly and smiley! They sing along to American songs, idolizing us for our lyrical knowledge of Michael Jackson and Grease. They bust out goofy dance moves to attract other dancers. But they do it in such an unpretentious, friendly way that you can’t help but love the Czechs. They’re darn cute.
And sometimes, useless. Order at a restaurant and you’ll find your meal undisturbed by questions like “How’s the beef?” or “Is that rare enough for you?” (They’ll gladly refill your glasses, though.) For the most part, I find this peaceful. It’s annoying to give waiters a play-by-play of your taste buds, spitting out half-lies about the quality of your food just to satisfy greedy tip-dependent staff. In the Czech Republic, waiters and waitresses are salaried. That means they don’t need to smile to get an extra buck, and you don’t need to reward them for it either. But when you’re in a general store, it can be a little annoying. I stood beside a Czech clerk in the shampoo aisle for 10 minutes hoping she’d notice my struggle and recommend a suitable brand, but she just minded her business without accosting me with help. Still kind of bitter about that.
So the question is, why? Why are the Czechs notorious pickpockets? Why are they so reseved in public but goofy in clubs? And why don’t they care about my steak? Here’s what I gather: in the case of pickpockets, the Czech nation is the most atheist in the world, which means they don’t believe that stealing a wallet will come back to bite them. Feeling bad about theft comes from religious ethics, and they simply don’t have any. Or maybe it’s because the reserved nature of Czechs makes it easy for dexterous individuals to blend in.
Why then, are they so reserved? Given that younger generations are so much more outgoing that their elders, it must come from the history of this country. Or as we like to call it in our orientation, the Czech “traumas.” They’ve had to endure socialism, communism, Soviet invasions, Nazi invasions, etc. Many remained complacent, many too afraid to speak out against oppressive rule. They have historically low self-esteem, forced time and again to change ideologies, eventually learning to chose formality and emptiness in favor of outgoing, impulsive behavior.
Heavy stuff.